It’s a familiar heartache for many: the faith that you love so dearly comes up in conversation with children, grandchildren, family or friends who were once practicing Catholics.

Maybe they politely let you finish and then quickly change the subject. Maybe you detect a subtle eye roll. Or maybe they denounce you outright, straining already fragile familial bonds.

If this has happened to you, don’t despair. Consider these tips on to have an honest, charitable initial conversation with someone who has left the faith.